The following blogs titled “Struggling With Sexual Brokenness” are a series of posts on dealing with sexual brokenness as it relates to identity, sexuality, spiritual growth and disciplines and healing.
Timothy is a 15-year-old young man. He’s your average teen whose trying to do his best to make good choices and live a life that is both Christ-centered and God honoring.
But, he’s struggling with a host of sins in his life that many do not know about.
He’s struggling with pornography, masturbation and he’s dealing with same-sex attraction. He feels completely embarrassed, ashamed and shut down. He feels like no one could ever hope to even know or understand him. His life on the inside feels like complete chaos to the point of confusion and depression and anxiety.
Timothy would speak to his dad about it, but feels completely afraid of doing so. Timothy has already imagined in his mind that his father would either look down on him and make him feel worse or embarrass him.
In the culture that we are in now, it is not too difficult to fall into the addictive sin and lifestyle of pornography, fornication, masturbation, homosexuality and so on.
But, there is hope.
One of the things I’m finding out about sexual brokenness is that it is not as simple as just wanting to find sexual release. A lot of our sexual brokenness is an attempt to make ourselves numb to something…to escape the reality of what we feel is a miserable and insignificant life.
But, how did Timothy get there. How did any of us dealing with these issues get there.
For some, it was because we stumbled upon it online or in magazines or on TV or movies. Also, for some and others, it was a mixture of that as well as abuse and/or exploration.
Typically, the devil will try and take what you’ve been dealing with and make you feel like you’re the most disgusting, most repulsive and most insignificant human being God ever created. But, that’s hardly the truth of what the Lord thinks of you.
As a boy at about age 13, the enemy enticed me with the use of pornography, using it online to view it off and on throughout my teens and part of my adult years, and it took many years to break free from the addiction.
It was used to promote the thoughts I had about myself…the negative mindset that was not at all Christ-like such as the following:
I’m not like these guys…I could never be loved…I could never have a genuine relationship with someone who loves me as I am…I’ll never get to experience sex in the way that God designed it and intended and so pornography and masturbation is the best I can get…
For men struggling with same sex attraction and/or homosexuality the messaging is about the same. We’ll get more into detail on this.
God loves us…so much so, that he sent his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross. He took the place that we should’ve taken for our sins. He took the ultimate punishment and paid the debt in full.
But, to live in that reality of freedom and hope and love, we have to do a few things in our walk with Christ. Believe it or not, Jesus DOES want to deal with the deeper issues that are inside of you, even the things that seem small and insignificant.
Trust the Lord with the real you…the you you’ve been hiding…the you you’ve been struggling with….the you that has been drowning under the practices of sin and secrets.
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) says this:
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit (or are crushed in spirit).
Isaiah 61:7 (NKJV) says this:
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
There’s a host of things that got Timothy and many of us to the place where sexual brokenness was a reality for our lives. Over the years, I learned that for me some of the stuff that happened to me in my childhood, the things I thought about myself, the bullying, feeling different and everything I experienced, required both counseling, connecting with other brothers in Christ, Bible study and prayer.